Something Perfect

A few years ago, about this time of year, God spoke very clearly to me that He was in control. I was devastated over the loss of something I desperately wanted.  God had removed it from my life, which made me feel completely broken and destroyed. 

But then he spoke to me. He said that his goal is to bring about my good and his glory. He said that by removing what I thought I wanted, he could make room for what was truly his best for me. 

In due time, God’s best for me appeared. And it is perfect for me, in the way only God’s best can be. I’m amazed that he could do something so wonderful for me. 

Tonight, after sharing some of my latest disillusionment and disappointment with my small group, I came home in anger and tears. I was once again devastated and broken. How could God let this happen? How can I go on? How can I keep doing this?

My husband held me for a bit, and then he went to bed. But I couldn’t sleep. I was still angry. That’s when God spoke those same words he’d said to me all those years ago…

My goal for your life is your good and my glory. 

By removing what you thought you wanted, I can make room for my best for you. 

I heard his voice loud and clear. Not audibly, but in my heart, which is somehow even louder. 

Do I want to sit here and trust God? No, not really. My sinful heart wants to worry and fret and strive desperately for control. But God is calling me to let him work his perfect plan. God is asking me to trust him and his will. God has something better even here that will surprise me and delight me and bring about my good and his glory… But it’s coming in his timing and not mine. 

I will trust the Lord for his best for me and those around me. Even here. Even now. 

About Love


Ladies, wait for the man who speaks truth over you. Wait for the man who echoes what your good Father God says to you. Wait for the man who selflessly gives of himself to you (and to others) without being asked. Wait for the man who loves people, whether in an introverted or an extroverted way. Wait for the man who is passionate about his love, care, and concern for you. Wait for the man who loves you.

There was a point in my life when I felt that I was not worthy enough to be loved. I thought I would never be acknowledged, understood, or accepted. But God (those are my two favorite words) started chipping away at my defenses and showed me that he is holding me and caring for me and pushing me to be my very best. He became an anchor for my soul – a good Father and a safe friend.

When I finally listened to what God was saying about me, and I embraced my innate worth as His child, I was then ready to date. When I learned who I am in Christ and a person, I was able to consider moving from “me” to “we.” It took falling more in love with my Savior first to be able to love another human being.

See, my fiance is an imperfect man, but he is an imperfect man who seriously loves me. I know his love is true because he tells me the same things that God does. He speaks truth over me in the same way: reminding me for the millionth time that I am beautiful, worthy, innately valuable, acknowledged, understood, accepted, cared for, and held.

Ladies, a man who does not speak God’s truth over you is not a man you should marry. A man who belittles you, hurts you without apology, ignores you, and does not consider you is not a man you should marry. At the same time, a man who has no life outside of you is also not a man you should marry. A man who spends all his time catering to your needs is also not marriage material.

What I love most about my fiance is that he loves other people and he loves God. He pours into our students at our school and the children at our church. He pours into his siblings. He is an extremely hard worker.

God has placed a man who loves well in my life, and I am forever grateful to spend the rest of my life with him.

To My Dissatisfied Friend

Dear Friend,

I’ve heard recently about how dissatisfied you are feeling. You’ve got me thinking. I’m wondering if I can share a little bit from my perspective.

I know where you’re coming from. I know that feeling of dissatisfaction and stagnation. I know how it feels to be stuck, and I can tell you: it’s not going to last forever.

My first argument is that, as an adult, you can choose whether to go or stay. Sometimes we have to pull up our bootstraps and do something to change where we are. Adults have the freedom and responsibility to make these kinds of decisions. One of my friends with a bachelor’s degree recently applied for CNA school because she saw the importance of moving in a different, more specialized direction.

Other times, we have to dig deep where we are and make the most of what we have. I have friends who have stayed with one seemingly meaningless job, trying their best and working hard, only to get a promotion or to meet someone along the way who offered them a better job.

Sometimes we must make changes and other times we must stay put. Often, we should do one in one situation and the other in another situation. It is prayer and Christian community that helps us determine which is which.

Secondly, remember that social media lies. All of your Facebook friends have their own problems. It may look like I have my life together, but I don’t. I work 50-70 hours a week and get paid less than a garbage truck guy. I’m building an entire high school English curriculum from a few textbooks. I’m planning a wedding, yes, but I’ve got some less than enthusiastic family members to plan it with. My fiance and I are working through previous struggles and how they relate to our current situation. Everyone has their own crap.

Being dissatisfied is very normal in one’s twenty-somethings. After the adventure and excitement (and lack of quite so many obligations) in high school and college, it is easy to hit the “real world” like a brick wall. It is also rare to get your desired job right out of college. On top of this, twenty-somethings are making big decisions in their relational lives. Making and keeping friends; when, who, and how to date; engagement, marriage, kids… That’s a lot, and it’s okay to feel dissatisfied. But you cannot let it define you.

Here’s what I want to say: You are not stuck here. You have great potential and a great future. God is not finished with you yet. I have been where you are, and it is hard, but it is not forever. Lean into Him, change what you need to, stay put with what you can’t change. Make building a solid, God-honoring community your highest goal, right after becoming more like Christ. Allow your disappointments to sanctify you.

Ironically, this is the same advice I would give myself at my current stage: Allow work, wedding, and relational struggles to sanctify you. Isn’t that every Christian’s goal?

These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold–though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

1 Peter 1:7