5 Things that Surprised me about Marriage

Last week marked ten months of marriage, and my husband and I are eager to celebrate our one year anniversary very soon. In this relatively short time, I have come to realize that so many things I once thought about marriage are simply not true! I thought I might share some of these marriage surprises so you could commiserate – some hilarious and some not-so-funny.

Marriage Surprises | Things That Surprised Me Once I Got Married - perfect for newlyweds | graceupongracetoday.com

{This post may contain affiliate links. Please see our policies page for more information.}

Morning Breath

When I thought about all the joys of romance in marriage, sleeping in the same bed and waking up next to my sweet husband was top on my list. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to flutter my eyelids open, roll over, and peck my sweetheart on the lips? …gross. The first time I tried it, we both had such terrible morning breath that I vowed to never try that again! We still like to cuddle some mornings when have time, but definitely not kissing.

It Still Takes Work

Before we got married, we met with an older married couple from our church for mentoring and we worked through a pre-marital study book together. We also met with our associate and lead pastors, and we gleaned advice from other couples and from various books. (We spent quite a bit of time and money on our wedding, and I felt like we were spending more on our marriage!) There was a lot of effort put in up front. However, after our honeymoon and as time went on, we realized that we could not just “coast” through our marriage. When things got difficult or other obligations got in the way of our proximity and connection to each other and to God, we fought more and we felt less close. One morning, I woke up and realized that I could not simply set the car of my marriage on “neutral.” I had to continue to invest in our relationship. I realized that marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. When you put in the extra work, you get to enjoy it.

Some Things Matter More Than Others

You want to know a simple way to make your marriage better? Ask your husband what matters to him! It blew my mind when someone gave me this advice. Here’s the thing: My husband does not really care if the house is spotless or the bed is made or the kitchen floor is clean. He values having clean clothes and something to eat. When I realized this, I was able to stop trying to be SuperWife and instead be the wife that he needs and desires. I choose to focus on laundry and grocery shopping first. Yes, the kitchen floor gets swept, but I focus on how to serve him how he desires it first. Likewise, he does the same for me! I love that he picks up extra work on the weekends sometimes, because it helps the budget. I also love when he’s home on the weekends. We are able to work out a schedule each month that satisfies both of us as well as the budget.

Socks… Socks Everywhere

Since I graduated high school, I always lived with female roommates and/or housemates. I know what it is like to walk around someone else’s laundry or dishes. However, I was just not fully prepared to find socks on the living room floor that no one will pick up until I pick them up on laundry day. At first, I became angry with my husband: How dare he leave his stinky socks on my floor? But honestly? It’s not that big of a deal, and I am thankful that he is home long enough to take off his socks in the evenings. Sometimes I ask him to pick them up (which he does gladly), and sometimes I gather them up with the rest of the laundry. It’s not worth yelling over – most things aren’t.

Men are Different From Women

I know, newsflash, right? Even though we married women roll our eyes at this one, we too often assume that our husbands think and feel just like we do. Ironically, my wonderful, sweet husband is just plain different from me. He has strengths in areas where I have weaknesses, and he has weaknesses where I have strengths. Case in point: Our kitchen sink began leaking around the seal. My husband cleaned it up, examined the sink, and made a plan for how to reseal it. Then he left the wet towels by the sink. At first, I only saw the wet towels. I did not see his effort in repairing the sink. His thought-processes work differently than mine, but that’s a good thing. Did God not create man to lead woman and woman to be man’s helpmeet? We need each other in a beautiful way.

Marriage Surprises | Things That Surprised Me Once I Got Married - perfect for newlyweds | graceupongracetoday.com

What have been some of your marriage surprises?

15 thoughts on “5 Things that Surprised me about Marriage

  1. Hey! This is Ariel from the Wondrous Wednesday Link Party! Thanks so much for linking this post up with us last week! I truly enjoyed it! Hubby and I have been married for 2 years now as of February 27th and I probably learn something new about marriage at least every week! LOL. It’s amazing how much your relationship and your spouse seems to change right before your eyes as you live and grow together! And it’s not neccesarily a bad change too, good as well. That’s the beauty of marriage. I love the person that my husband is now, even more than I loved who he was before we got married!
    Anyway, I loved your post so much that I featured it on this week’s linky! So, check it out when you have a chance! And drop some more awesome posts in this week’s linky as well, and be sure to let your other friend bloggers know to drop by and see your feature! 🙂

    1. Thanks so much! I’m so excited to hear that.
      What a joy that spouses change, but we continue to love each other! I appreciate your comment. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Great read! I think it is really good advice to find out what is important to your husband. Like you said, it allows you to love and serve him better and gives some grace for getting the other chores done all the time!

    1. Absolutely! Different husbands like different things. How can we best serve our own husbands? Thanks so much for your comment.

  3. Just followed your advice to ask what matters to him! I’ve tried to study him carefully over the years to figure it out but never formally asked. Crazy, right?

    Ha! And I totally relate to the socks!!

    1. It’s good to study your husband quietly, but I’ve found that asking him is better!

  4. I like the idea of sharing your experience so far in a post. I love all the points made, but working it out stands out right for me. “I can’t expect to set the car of my marriage in neutral”. Very true, it still takes a lot of work! Thanks for sharing.

  5. Oh, yes!! There are so many surprises. My husband’s side of the closet is so much better organized than mine…that was a shocker! Things that sort of annoyed us in the beginning become running jokes that we know we will miss about each other one day when the other has passed on and is no longer here. My husband says, he will have to pull out my t-shirt drawer, which I never fully close, because he is so used to it not being closed.

Leave a Reply