Guest Post: Why God Calls Me To Submit to My Husband – And Why I Gladly Do It

Today I have the joy of featuring a guest post from the lovely Madison of From This Day Forward. You can read more about her at the end of this post, but I want to go ahead and let you in on a little secret: her words about this divisive topic are refreshing and true, and reading this makes me actually want to submit to my husband! She does not shy away from God’s Word in this post or in any of her writing. I am honored to call her an excellent author and a sweet friend.

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Why God Calls Me To Submit to My Husband Becoming One Devotional for Wives

“Submission? I will never let a man control me! There is no way that I am going to let my future husband rule over me like I’m some kind of slave!”

Sassy, I know. I said phrases like that very often before I started dating and got married. I was a headstrong, independent (or so I liked to think) young woman who really didn’t know the first thing about true biblical submission. To be honest, I think a lot of women nowadays don’t truly know what it means, either. The world tells us that being a submissive wife shows weakness and timidity. It tells us that if we submit to our husbands, they will abuse us and run us down. It tells us that submission is an evil thing that should be avoided at all costs.

If we look at what the Bible tells us, though, it is the exact opposite! God created submission for our benefit. It is not a punishment or burden, but a huge part of what makes marriage more fulfilling and joyful.

There are some things that I had to learn before I could truly submit to my husband the way God called me to. It wasn’t (and still isn’t at times) easy to do, but it is rewarding for my marriage in so many ways.

I had to realize that my husband’s God-given role is to be the leader and head of our home, while MY God-given role is to stand beside him as his helpmeet.

My husband is called to submit to God in order to be the leader he is made to be. I am called to submit to God first and foremost, then to my husband. Our roles should never be switched. If they do, there will be chaos! I believe God created our families to run this way for a reason.

Our husbands are called to love us like Christ loved the church (His Bride) in every aspect of our marriage. Christ loves His church by leading, teaching, and providing for us. We are called to submit to His authority and let him lead our families in the way we should go. Isn’t that a great model of submission in marriage as well? Everything Christ does, He does out of love for us. Your husband should be striving to lead your family in the way Christ leads the church.

I believe another reason why women have a hatred for submission is because they believe, as women, they are required to submit to every man in the world. That is yet another lie!

True biblical submission only requires that a wife submit to her own husband. A woman is not obligated or required to submit to all men in general.

I am so thankful for this! My husband is a Godly, loving and compassionate man who would do anything for me. He is a strong leader and wonderful mentor, and I look up to him a lot. As for the majority of men in this world, I would not even want to be around them; much less be their wife! The good news is I am only called to submit to the man I chose to love forever, my husband.

So, I’m sure you’re wondering, what exactly does biblical submission look like? Do I have a say in anything that goes on in our marriage and life, or is that only my husband’s job?

You DEFINITELY have a say in every single aspect of your marriage and life!

You and your husband should ALWAYS consult each other before making any decisions in your life or marriage. You are a team; your husband is just the team leader!

Before I got married, I thought that submission meant that I would have to let my husband make all of the decisions without consulting me or my opinions. Wow, what a misconception!

Why God Calls Me To Submit to My Husband - Becoming One Devotional for WivesYour husband should most definitely be including you in ALL of the decisions that affect you and your family. If he doesn’t, then he is not being the leader that he is called to be. He should be coming to you for advice and input, as well as your opinion and how you feel about things. His number one priority should always be God’s will, you, and your children (in that order). Being a submissive wife just means that you trust your husband to make the right decisions. It means that you are okay with whatever decision your husband ultimately decides to make regardless of which path you would have chosen yourself. Even when it is hard to let go of the desire to control, we are called to let our husbands lead us.

Jesus provided the perfect example of submission when he went to the cross. He submitted to God and His will, even if it was not the path he would have taken.

When I need a powerful example of biblical submission to go by, I look at Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46). He went to the garden to pray because He knew He was about to go to the cross. It was taking a huge toll on Him, and he felt as if he was dying already. Through all of that stress and sadness though, Jesus prayed “Father, if it’s possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. But let your will be done rather than mine.” (Matt. 39) That sends chills down my spine! If Jesus, the King of Kings, can go to the cross and be brutally beaten to death and still say “not my will but Yours,” what is stopping us?

It is God’s will that my husband and I submit to Him and that I submit to my husband. Even when it is hard, we can still practice submission. God can help us! All we have to do is ask Him.

Pray for your husband; that he will be the true leader that God calls Him to be. Remember that your husband will never be perfect and he will make mistakes. Even so, trust him. Help him remember to seek God in all that he does and always follow His will.

Becoming One: A 30-Day Devotional for Wives

If you want to invest in your marriage and learning how to truly become one with your husband, I have the perfect resource for you! I just released my new e-book Becoming One: A 30-Day Devotional for Wives! It is designed to help wives grow closer to their husbands while also growing closer to God. To learn more about Becoming One and purchase it for yourself or a friend, visit this link.

About the Guest Poster:

Madison is a follower of Jesus, wife to Steven, and mommy to her fur baby Bentley. She strives to encourage and equip wives to grow closer to God and their husbands on a daily basis. She loves to spend time in the Word of God, go on dates with her husband, whip up treats in the kitchen and travel the world when she can. In all that she does, she strives to please God most of all.

To read more of Madison’s reflections on marriage, you can read her blog.

If you’re interested in reading more about working together within a submissive marriage, see my thoughts on teamwork in marriage.

32 thoughts on “Guest Post: Why God Calls Me To Submit to My Husband – And Why I Gladly Do It

    1. Thanks Andrea! It really is teamwork, and I think we forget that so often!

  1. I’m glad you pointed out that we don’t have to submit to ALL Men (which sadly people do believe) but that is is Biblical to submit to our husbands – and beautiful too!

    1. Absolutely! Only my husband is commissioned by God to lead me and our family, not every man I know. Thanks!

    2. You are so right! I believe that SO many women think that we must submit to all men in order to be a submissive wife. But that is the thing, we are called to be a submissive WIFE, not a submissive person in general.

  2. After 40 years, I can truly say that submission is a blessing and joy. It is a protection for me and truly allows us to work as a team! Thanks for your thoughts!

    1. I’m so thankful for your comments as someone who has been there! What a joy to know that teamwork is better in submission.
      My sweet friend Madison wrote this post and all credit is hers. Isn’t she so thoughtful about this issue?

  3. As a christian wife to a non believing husband, God has shown me submission is still important in our relationship. I find when I submit and allow my husband to be the leader (even though he may not be the leader I want him to be YET) God fills our relationship with peace.
    We all have to do our part and God will do the rest!

    1. Hey Jessica, I think I understand why you feel that way. The Bible does often seem outdated and maybe man-centered. However, I believe that God inspired the authors of the Bible to write His words and His commands for His people. In doing so, God gave humans guidelines that applied thousands of years ago, as well as today. One of those guidelines is the establishment of the home, and God put the husband in the position of leadership in the home. Actually, this ends up being a great thing for wives! I am able to step back and watch my husband lead our marriage, home, and family while I play the supporting role. It is so freeing. It also helps me learn how to trust my husband, just as I trust God with my life. Of course, this does not come without a command to the husband as well… What a gift that God commands my husband to love me with the same passion and self-sacrifice as Christ, who died for his bride (the church). Neither my husband nor I are perfect, but we find that God’s way of doing things always works better than ours.
      Anyway, I’d love to talk with your more if you’re open, and I’m sure Madison would, too!

      1. Yes, I agree Alex! Submission is honestly a weight lifted off my shoulder, and helps me grow to trust my husband more. And your right, the husband doesn’t go without a commandment from the Lord to be a GOOD leader. If you think about it, the husband has more to live up to and “worry” about! I fully believe the stories in the Bible can be applied in our daily lives now as well. Submission is seriously the hardest thing to do in marriage, but it really has been worth it!

  4. It’s easy to submit when you have a husband who really does love you like Christ loves the church. I never thought I could submit, but I have been lucky to have such a wonderful husband that makes it easy.

    1. Absolutely! I was always put off by the idea of submission until I married my husband and started living it. I realized how kind and thoughtful he really is, even when we disagree. It makes a difference!

  5. The issue of submission to marriage is often misunderstood and distorted. I love how you talk about it, because you explain clearly and give facts about what the Bible says about submission. It is beautiful when we can be obedient and receive the blessing of a marriage that walks and lives like God intended in the first place! – Great post!

  6. I love this post and the honesty it provides about “true submission”. I hope this will enlighten others as to what Biblical submission is, and how it greatly effects marriage. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Thank you so much for reading, and for your comment! Madison did such a great job of explaining Biblical submission in a way that is honest and graceful.

  7. Great post! I think this is so true ESPECIALLY including you in decisions they make as the head of the home. Submission doesn’t mean just doing whatever your husband says, it means being teammates and letting him be the ultimate decider.

  8. Jesus is the perfect example of submission. – I love this. Philippians chapter 2 is my favorite passage to reflect on in marriage, because it shows us how Jesus humbled himself for us. Thank you for this reminder of the beauty in submission in marriage!

  9. I wrote something similar yesterday about the man being the head of the family. I agree with you completely!

  10. The words that are frequently translated as “helpmeet” (ezer kenegdo) are actually better translated as “powerful partner.” So wives are not called to be people who stand to the side and let their husbands lead; they are called to be equal and strong partners, working together to achieve God’s purposes in their lives and marriages. I believe that the mis-translation of those words to “helpmeet” or “helper” over the years has been purposeful, designed to give all forms of power and control to men and relegate women to a small and subservient role in the home and the church. If women really understood the role that God has called them to, they would begin to operate in God’s strength and power, and stop putting up with the subservient nonsense that so many men and churches are promoting.

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